Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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