I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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