Already got asked if we're dating
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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