Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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