Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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