she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize