just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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