im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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