he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
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Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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