I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize