I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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