Sry I called you an 8
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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