i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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