My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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