If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize