it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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