i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
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I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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