Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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