Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize