you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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