I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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