you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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