So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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