Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize