somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
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While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
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Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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