he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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