please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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