Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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