I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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