Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize