I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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