Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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