come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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it's like iHOP with fire
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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