Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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