I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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