Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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