You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize