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We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
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