Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize