...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize