smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
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Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
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I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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