it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize