i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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