bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize