YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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