We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The best revenge is premature balding
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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