My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize