Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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