have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize