I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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